
The Power of Words – 5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Yourself
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The spoken word is the most powerful weapon in the world. A childhood rhyme says that “words will never hurt me” but nothing could be further from the truth. Words, once said, cannot be unsaid therefore the results of those words can linger far longer than a bruise.
Words can be used to build up or to tear down, to praise or to slaughter, to clarify or to confuse. Since words are so powerful, why do we unleash the most harmful words on ourselves?
Often, we say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to others. Through our words, we portray ourselves in such a negative way that we force our mindset into focusing on the negatives. Thus we destroy our hopes, dreams and potentially our future.
Here are 5 Words You Shouldn’t Say to Yourself:
1. “I can’t”
Have you tried? Truth is that you might find something difficult but you can do it. Tearing down your abilities begins the process of self doubt.
2. “Why do I always mess up?”
This exaggerated statement can make you fear trying anything. Anytime you use the word, “always” negatively it is an exaggeration. Unless you are saying something like, “I always brush my teeth in the morning”; do not use the word “always”!
3. “Nobody cares about me”
This is drenched in self pity! There are probably more people than you can imagine that care about you. This type of self talk can lead to serious issues with depression. Quickly think of at least 1 person that does care…it will instantly prove this statement false!
4. “They have a better life than I do”
First of all, you only know about the life that people let you see. That person with that amazing life might have huge debt, an abusive relationship, a chronic illness you can’t really see or number of troubles that are hidden from plain view. Stop comparing yourself to others and put that energy into building the life that you want to have.
5. “Life is unfair”
My mom would often ask me, “who told you life is supposed to be fair?”. It is a hard truth, life is hard and it isn’t fair sometimes but placing your focus on it will only make it worse. Put your focus and attention toward the things that will make life better.
Now it is time to turn that negative talk around! The saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” doesn’t only apply to the things you say to others-it applies to the things you say to yourself as well.
Related Topics:
- Chronic Illness Related Anxiety
- 5 Steps to Challenge your Mindset
- My Mental Health Story
- 5 Thoughts that Impact your Mental Health
- The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others




43 Comments
Nicole Kauffman
I am SO guilty of saying “I can’t” ALL the time!! I need to stop doing that and my husband has been so encouraging in the process. Great reminders here, for all of them!
Colleen
What goes hand-in-hand with #1 is “I’m not a…” and then insert noun at the end. My refrain since childhood has been “I’m not a runner.” Well, this year I decided to stop believing that and now I’m about a week and a half away from running a 5K. Self-talk is powerful.
Patricia @ Grab a Plate
Great reminders! I love your final line/way of thinking: “If you don’t have anything nice to say…!” Works well in these situations, too!
Cayla
This post can at just the right time. Lately, I’ve been catching myself saying some of these statements, but I know I need to hold them captive and change them to positive thoughts!
D
Wow just reading this makes you realise just how much of these phrases we actually use without realising it. Great tips on how to overcome them and how to be positive. I will try my best to do this next time I go to use one of these hurtful phrases. Thank you.
D, xo || From http://www.livedreamcreate-d.com
Carla Natali
Not many people understand how powerful “self-talk” really is so they use the wrong way and don´t even realize how much it is damaging their self-esteem and their life in general.
I loved your post, I wish more people were talking about this!
Kimmy Ripley
My mind is my worst enemy and I am often very negative and critical about myself. I will have to keep all your tips in mind! I say that life is unfair a lot. I need to just suck it up buttercup and start thinking in a more positive light.
Jaki
I think we can all learn something from this post! Thank you for sharing with #TriumphantTales.
Mackenzie Glanville
I’m very good and saying those things to myself, most of my life I have been very hard on myself and am still learning to change old patterns that have done me a lot of damage, thanks for joining in with #ABloggingGoodTime
Noelle @ A Little Adult
YES!!! One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing people lust after someone else’s life. There’s nothing holding you back from what you really want, and you never actually know everything about someone else’s story.
Britt K
We often fall into the habit of focusing on what we will/won’t permit from other people while failing to look at how we talk to ourselves. Our own words can be some of the most damaging… Thank you for sharing!
Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca
Jen Cannon
Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
Charlotte Jessop
A great remind to not hold myself back! Thank you!
Jen Cannon
Thank you for stopping by and commenting
Laura Jukonyte
Hey there, thank you for writing this helpful post. I think at the end of the day, we are all guilty somewhat for being lost in cognitive illusions – the ‘I can’t’ or ‘I must’ or ‘I should’. Like you said, words are important, and being aware of negative habits and language is one step to happyt life!
Jen Cannon
Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
Anjhaneè
Love this post! Self-love is so important. 💛
Jen Cannon
Thank you!
Valerie Petry
Shared to my FB page @ValerieAscending
Must read I had to share!
Jen Cannon
Thank you so much! That means so much to me!
Pushpanjali Roy
Thanks for sharing this great post. In the world of social media (particularly Facebook and Instagram), it’s very easy to assume that “They have a better life than I do.” And it is really important to motivate oneself through positive words.
Thanks,
Anjali
https://www.laughingmirror.com
Jen Cannon
Thank you! I am really glad that you enjoyed it.
I just followed your blog!
Alexx
This is so perfect! I have a terrible habit of the ‘I can’t’ wording, chronic illness makes it so easy to think that, but you are completely correct. I was always taught ‘you only cant if you don’t believe’, which is along the similar lines. IF you try, you are capable of everything you want to do in life.x
Jen Cannon
It might have to be done slower…but it can be done!
Thanks for the comment!
Paige
Great post! I totally agree with all of these, especially the “they have a better life than I do” one. It’s so easy to look at another person and think they have it all, when it really isn’t the case
Jen Cannon
Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Abi
Lovely post!xx
Roshan Radhakrishnan
A lovely post… Something I can totally relate to. And probably need to do more often.
Jen Cannon
I am really glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you for the comment.
Ellaine
I have been practicing not saying these kind of words to myself lately, as a part of my self care routine and transformation. I hope more people realize the big impact of this against their health, and be inclined more to the other side! Great post! :))
Ellaine | In Betweens
The Frozen Mind
It really does have an impact on how you feel about yourself.
Thanks for the comment!
Ida
You’re such a great writer with an important message, I always love reading your work 💜 Inspiring words!
The Frozen Mind
Thank you! You just made my day!
Saania
I love your blog! It’s so inspirational! I have to implement this in my life for sure 🙂
The Frozen Mind
Thank you so much! Your comment means more than you know.
Thanks for commenting.
Jess Pacheco
I studied linguistics in college during my undergrad years (it’s been a long while since then), nonetheless, I remember distinctly our study of sociolinguistics and how very much the semantics (meaning) of a word can change the entire impression and experience of one’s life. You can look at the Bible in the same way – much of the wild interpretations of it are based on how a secondary language translates from the original language in which the Bible (Dead Sea scrolls) were written. As you can see, looking back on history and present day, the language of such a text transformed the experiences of people all over the globe. Language is very much powerful and by knowing that, we can hopefully aim to treat ourselves better with the language we use in our own minds.
The Frozen Mind
Thank you for your comment. I hadn’t thought about in that way before.
Nancy
I appreciate this post – these phrases sound really negative and can hold people back from achievements. People do care – sometimes, it is hard to see and feel it. However, there are people out there. It’s so bad to compare your life with others. Sometimes, you don’t really know what’s going on even though things may seem great. Thanks for sharing these ♥
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
The Frozen Mind
Thank you for the comment. I am really happy that you liked it.
Bexa
I love this post so much! 💖 This line is spot on: “Stop comparing yourself to others and put that energy into building the life that you want to have.”
Great post, thank you for sharing 😘 xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
The Frozen Mind
Thank you so much for your comment!
Natonya
Genius post! I really like how it’s aim towards self-awareness. We can be our biggest critic and so in contrast we need to be our biggest supporter. Be nice to others but also be nice to yourself. Deep post, thanks for sharing and followed your blog too <3
Natonya | http://www.justnatonya.wordpress.com
The Frozen Mind
Thank you so much for your comment!