• Click the pin to read my story of depression, suicide and triumph. #suicide #depression #stigma #mentalhealth #mentalillness

    How my Mind Became my Enemy – Part 4

    This is the last part of a four part series about my mental health story. You can get to the previous posts by clicking the links below. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 I lost 16 of what should have been my most productive years to mental illness. I really can’t tell you how many psychiatric hospitalizations that I had during this time because I lost count. My mind was so mired in the events of the past that there was no today or tomorrow to be seen. It was like my mind wanted to punish me for the things that other people had done to me. I was drowning…

  • How my Mind Became my Enemy Part 3 - #mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression

    How my Mind Became my Enemy – Part 3

    When I woke up in ICU the next day, I knew this had been very different from before. This time there could be possible damage to my liver and kidneys but what we really different was me. I was scared this time. I knew that if something did not change that one day it would go from a passing thought to a permanent solution.  Something had to change and it had to change now. My mind could no longer be in charge.

  • How my Mind Became my Enemy Part 2 - #mentalhealth #mentalillness #selfharm

    How my Mind Became my Enemy – Part 2

    <<Part 1 I woke up in a hospital, not the kind with private rooms and nice nurses that bring you medication. This one had a person watching every move I made. I was allowed a pillow but no blanket, shoes but no shoelaces and bathroom privileges but no privacy. My mind had officially created a battlefield in my life. Over the next few years this string of events would happen so many times that I don’t know the number of admissions I had. Each time I would get asked, “what happened right before you hurt yourself that made you want to die?”. My answer was always the same…”nothing”. No one…

  • How my Mind Became my Enemy - #depression #selfharm #mentalhealth #mentalillness

    How my Mind Became my Enemy – Part 1

    To say that my twenties were turbulent would be putting it mildly but to put it bluntly, I was an emotional mess. My life was out of control and the prospects of it getting better seemed slim to none. There were several things that happened in my mind that created the chaos and ultimately, my mind became my enemy. I had always been that person who looked at the floor when she walked in front of a group. I don’t know, I just felt like they were all judging me. Was I walking funny or what if I fall and embarrass myself? In my mind, I was inferior to all…